Parent abuse!

My mom is Single.. My dad expired some five years ago. He suffered from Cancer and left this world.
My mom who is already loud mouthed became much more than that after his death. Each day, I open my eyes with her abuses.. To add fuel to the fire.. I loved a girl from a different community whose financial status is also better than us! Imagine the torture I am going through . . Each day she criticises my choice. She shouts at me for choosing a girl who does not understand our financial position ( according to her ) . Everyday.. EVERY BLOODY DAY.. I face all these abuses for almost 4 hours each day ... I feel like saying a good bye to her and get the fuck out of my home.. I try to maintain silence to large extent just listening to her abuses .. controlling the blood that rushes.. 40-50% times I cant withstand the torture anymore and shout back... Hell will break loose .. I just cant explain.. I just want to get out of my home..She cries .. She shouts.. She sometimes hurts me physically..She does not cook for me ..

On the flip side.
If I suffer even from cough or fever.. she does not even sleep.. Tries to be with me 24*7 taking care of all my needs..I suffered from high fever for more than one week some time back.. She was with me all time ..

She has very limited amount that she got from insurance company and the company with which my dad worked..
She must live with that amount for more than 25 years if god blesses her with full life.
Even in that limited amount she paid a large amount of my education loan.. she is trying to pull as much amount as possible for my inter-community marriage..though she does not like it heartfully.. she does not like it .. but sincerely wishes that I should marry her because I love her!
She is giving as much as amount as possible for my Grand Ma who is in hospital since long time..

Though I shout at her during her abuses.. sometime deep in my heart.. I love her.. I respect her..
I may move out of my home after my marriage.. but Mom.. I will try as much as possible to take care of you.. till there is life in me.. for everything you did and doing.. even abuses ;)
If I leave her permanently for one reason or the other.. because of a third person influence or because of my own frustration ..

I am not a Man..

My Mom is my responsibility.. My Brother is my responsibility.. My Wife is my responsibility..

I will not run away from them..
-tHe DrEaMeR