On 5/5/10 my close pal said I will reach my salary target of Rs.1,00,000 per month by 2012. Hope I can live upto his wishes.
tHe DrEaMeR
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Parent abuse!
My mom is Single.. My dad expired some five years ago. He suffered from Cancer and left this world.
My mom who is already loud mouthed became much more than that after his death. Each day, I open my eyes with her abuses.. To add fuel to the fire.. I loved a girl from a different community whose financial status is also better than us! Imagine the torture I am going through . . Each day she criticises my choice. She shouts at me for choosing a girl who does not understand our financial position ( according to her ) . Everyday.. EVERY BLOODY DAY.. I face all these abuses for almost 4 hours each day ... I feel like saying a good bye to her and get the fuck out of my home.. I try to maintain silence to large extent just listening to her abuses .. controlling the blood that rushes.. 40-50% times I cant withstand the torture anymore and shout back... Hell will break loose .. I just cant explain.. I just want to get out of my home..She cries .. She shouts.. She sometimes hurts me physically..She does not cook for me ..
On the flip side.
If I suffer even from cough or fever.. she does not even sleep.. Tries to be with me 24*7 taking care of all my needs..I suffered from high fever for more than one week some time back.. She was with me all time ..
She has very limited amount that she got from insurance company and the company with which my dad worked..
She must live with that amount for more than 25 years if god blesses her with full life.
Even in that limited amount she paid a large amount of my education loan.. she is trying to pull as much amount as possible for my inter-community marriage..though she does not like it heartfully.. she does not like it .. but sincerely wishes that I should marry her because I love her!
She is giving as much as amount as possible for my Grand Ma who is in hospital since long time..
Though I shout at her during her abuses.. sometime deep in my heart.. I love her.. I respect her..
I may move out of my home after my marriage.. but Mom.. I will try as much as possible to take care of you.. till there is life in me.. for everything you did and doing.. even abuses ;)
If I leave her permanently for one reason or the other.. because of a third person influence or because of my own frustration ..
I am not a Man..
My Mom is my responsibility.. My Brother is my responsibility.. My Wife is my responsibility..
I will not run away from them..
-tHe DrEaMeR
My mom who is already loud mouthed became much more than that after his death. Each day, I open my eyes with her abuses.. To add fuel to the fire.. I loved a girl from a different community whose financial status is also better than us! Imagine the torture I am going through . . Each day she criticises my choice. She shouts at me for choosing a girl who does not understand our financial position ( according to her ) . Everyday.. EVERY BLOODY DAY.. I face all these abuses for almost 4 hours each day ... I feel like saying a good bye to her and get the fuck out of my home.. I try to maintain silence to large extent just listening to her abuses .. controlling the blood that rushes.. 40-50% times I cant withstand the torture anymore and shout back... Hell will break loose .. I just cant explain.. I just want to get out of my home..She cries .. She shouts.. She sometimes hurts me physically..She does not cook for me ..
On the flip side.
If I suffer even from cough or fever.. she does not even sleep.. Tries to be with me 24*7 taking care of all my needs..I suffered from high fever for more than one week some time back.. She was with me all time ..
She has very limited amount that she got from insurance company and the company with which my dad worked..
She must live with that amount for more than 25 years if god blesses her with full life.
Even in that limited amount she paid a large amount of my education loan.. she is trying to pull as much amount as possible for my inter-community marriage..though she does not like it heartfully.. she does not like it .. but sincerely wishes that I should marry her because I love her!
She is giving as much as amount as possible for my Grand Ma who is in hospital since long time..
Though I shout at her during her abuses.. sometime deep in my heart.. I love her.. I respect her..
I may move out of my home after my marriage.. but Mom.. I will try as much as possible to take care of you.. till there is life in me.. for everything you did and doing.. even abuses ;)
If I leave her permanently for one reason or the other.. because of a third person influence or because of my own frustration ..
I am not a Man..
My Mom is my responsibility.. My Brother is my responsibility.. My Wife is my responsibility..
I will not run away from them..
-tHe DrEaMeR
Monday, March 15, 2010
Fruits and Sprouts
For the next 80 days .. Most of my diet will be Fruits and Sprouts..I will try to visit temples as frequently as possible.
For my Marriage.. for my health..
-ThE dReAmEr
For my Marriage.. for my health..
-ThE dReAmEr
Saturday, March 13, 2010
My first quote
Well, I heard many people quoting someone's quote.. I felt its time for me to quote few quotes
Srikanth Surabhi Observes.
"Most of the men must handle two mental patients in their life and they feel much better on realising this" :) :) :)
Srikanth Surabhi Observes.
"Most of the men must handle two mental patients in their life and they feel much better on realising this" :) :) :)
Friday, March 5, 2010
The power of detachment and choice! Choose Detachment Stay Happy!
Wondering what's the relation between detachment and choice?Read entire article then.
I've been thinking on various ways to avoid suffering. In this quest to stay away from Suffering as far as possible, I stumbled over Swami Vivekananda's quote/saying whatever it is "You must reserve the power of detachment and attachment both with you." I thought more about it.
Like death, we all are bound to face suffering one time or the other. We have no choice to make about death. When it arrives, we just got to die as simple as that. But when you think about suffering, we definitely have a choice to make. It is up to you whether to suffer or experience pain or choose the other way .. the best way .. that is not to suffer.
You may have a loud mom or wife or friend or boss or all of them and more. When you hear them screaming some illogical blah blah .. your heart beats faster.. you will react to their bitter words by using more bitter words. This is a vicious circle. That leads to abuses .. sleeplessness .. mental torture. You suffer! Period.
Same happens when someone sends you a text that irritates you with useless blah... you react..opposite person reacts ... arguments.. torture and again.. Suffering.
"Choose detachment" instead! Someone shouts at you. Someone sends you a text/mail that makes your blood boil.. wait do not let your blood boil! Train your mind to such an extent that what opposite person is screaming at you are just sounds. Not words! Hope you will understand the difference I am mentioning. Similarly train your mind that some one's text/mail is not a message from them. It is just some random text you are reading in a novel or newspaper.
Mind and body reacts in a different way based on what it is receiving. If you train it to recognise abuses as sheer sounds, you stay calmer you AVOID suffering. If you train your mind to recognise mails.texts as some random article you are reading, it reacts differently. You won't react! You won't suffer.
One doubt that pops your mind as soon as you read is , what the heck I must reply to those sounds/text when there is a decision to make. What should I do!
I agree you got to reply to the Sounds/Text. However, let some time pass between the time your hear the sounds/read and the time you respond. I am sure you will make better decisions and avoid suffering
Choose Detachment Stay Happy!
I've been thinking on various ways to avoid suffering. In this quest to stay away from Suffering as far as possible, I stumbled over Swami Vivekananda's quote/saying whatever it is "You must reserve the power of detachment and attachment both with you." I thought more about it.
Like death, we all are bound to face suffering one time or the other. We have no choice to make about death. When it arrives, we just got to die as simple as that. But when you think about suffering, we definitely have a choice to make. It is up to you whether to suffer or experience pain or choose the other way .. the best way .. that is not to suffer.
You may have a loud mom or wife or friend or boss or all of them and more. When you hear them screaming some illogical blah blah .. your heart beats faster.. you will react to their bitter words by using more bitter words. This is a vicious circle. That leads to abuses .. sleeplessness .. mental torture. You suffer! Period.
Same happens when someone sends you a text that irritates you with useless blah... you react..opposite person reacts ... arguments.. torture and again.. Suffering.
"Choose detachment" instead! Someone shouts at you. Someone sends you a text/mail that makes your blood boil.. wait do not let your blood boil! Train your mind to such an extent that what opposite person is screaming at you are just sounds. Not words! Hope you will understand the difference I am mentioning. Similarly train your mind that some one's text/mail is not a message from them. It is just some random text you are reading in a novel or newspaper.
Mind and body reacts in a different way based on what it is receiving. If you train it to recognise abuses as sheer sounds, you stay calmer you AVOID suffering. If you train your mind to recognise mails.texts as some random article you are reading, it reacts differently. You won't react! You won't suffer.
One doubt that pops your mind as soon as you read is , what the heck I must reply to those sounds/text when there is a decision to make. What should I do!
I agree you got to reply to the Sounds/Text. However, let some time pass between the time your hear the sounds/read and the time you respond. I am sure you will make better decisions and avoid suffering
Choose Detachment Stay Happy!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Thoughts on March 4!
I could not name this article better than that.
I am still fighting my self to complete one technical ebook first page to last page.
As usual, this is not my original thought. One of my friends and one acquaintance insisted on believing a Study Material, Working through it from beginning to end solving every exercise that it demands.
I accepted that line of thought not just because I heard it from two successful people. I too felt that method sensible upon pondering.
One of my very close friends told one thing that he observed about me during his time with me.
"You always achieved what you really want"
To prove him right, to prove Paul Coleho right, In an effort to prove to myself that I do what I believe,
I am Studying an ebook called "Beginning Programming for dummies". I started reading that in January and somehow I did not reach even half of it till now. Good part is I am almost reaching it.
Many people told me I cannot program. That Programming is not my cup of tea. I want to test that and believe.
Will be learning Ruby on Rails..
-the DrEaMer
In tune with my belief, In an effort to prove
I am still fighting my self to complete one technical ebook first page to last page.
As usual, this is not my original thought. One of my friends and one acquaintance insisted on believing a Study Material, Working through it from beginning to end solving every exercise that it demands.
I accepted that line of thought not just because I heard it from two successful people. I too felt that method sensible upon pondering.
One of my very close friends told one thing that he observed about me during his time with me.
"You always achieved what you really want"
To prove him right, to prove Paul Coleho right, In an effort to prove to myself that I do what I believe,
I am Studying an ebook called "Beginning Programming for dummies". I started reading that in January and somehow I did not reach even half of it till now. Good part is I am almost reaching it.
Many people told me I cannot program. That Programming is not my cup of tea. I want to test that and believe.
Will be learning Ruby on Rails..
-the DrEaMer
In tune with my belief, In an effort to prove
Wish No.3
నేను నా జీవితం లోనేరవేర్చుకోవలనుకున్న పది ఆశల్లో మూడవది ఐన నాకు ఇష్టమైన అమ్మాయిని పెళ్లి చేస్కోవాలి త్వరలో నెరవేర బోతున్నది. జూన్ 4 న నా పెళ్లి నాకు ఇష్టమైన ప్రాణం ఐన అమ్మాయితో జరగబోతోంది.
ఆ విఘ్నేస్వరుడిని నేను కోరుకునేది ఒక్కటే..ఈ వివాహానికి ఎలాంటి అవాంతరాలు రాకుండా కాపాడి నా ఆశ నిరవేర్చాలని కోరుకుంటున్నాను
ది డ్రీమర్
ఆ విఘ్నేస్వరుడిని నేను కోరుకునేది ఒక్కటే..ఈ వివాహానికి ఎలాంటి అవాంతరాలు రాకుండా కాపాడి నా ఆశ నిరవేర్చాలని కోరుకుంటున్నాను
ది డ్రీమర్
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Realising All Iz Well!
Reading a technical book/text is like taking a Tablet! You may not like the taste of it. However, it does a lot of good in long run. Realise that you have the flair to read! Anticipate something NEW from the text you are reading. Make it a habit to tell yourself that you are going to learn something absolutely NEW,which you never knew in your life,in the next few minutes.
NEW means Adrenal Rush. Adrenal rush is THE motivating factor for you through out yourlife. So REALISE that you are gonna know something NEW
Keep tellin your heart as often as possible that All Iz Well!
NEW means Adrenal Rush. Adrenal rush is THE motivating factor for you through out yourlife. So REALISE that you are gonna know something NEW
Keep tellin your heart as often as possible that All Iz Well!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Why do I suck in reading Technical (e)books? - My analysis about myself
This article is to analyse about myself with the hope that it changes my perception about ebooks.
I think the primary reason why I am sucking so much in completing an ebook is , I am not thinking/feleing anything about the book I want to read.
Why am I able to read thousands of pages of fiction and why not technical stuff?
When I am reading a P.G.Wodehouse book, I anticipate pleasure. Where as when I start a technical (e)book, my aim all these days was just to complete it irrespective of number of pages.
Today, during my travel in cold air on bike at about 3:30 am in the morning I got a strong feeling that I must anticipate something from the book I am starting to motivate my self to complete it.
So, when I start an ebook or for that matter any book, I must be clear as to what I expect out of that book. Is it pleasure? Is it some new skill ? or Is it just to kill time!
Once my objective is clear, I feel I can cruise through the entire text ( whether fiction or tech stuff or some random god damn paper). Only thing I must make sure is, I must remind myself about the objective in reading a particular book everytime I come back to it. Most importantly, I must make sure that I must return to the book that I left though my mind protests the idea.
I am sure this will help me in achieving what I always wanted to achieve.
Being fanatic about technology!
bInGo
tHe DrEaMeR
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Great Scott! my Second post
Here is my second post! Woke up fifteen min back and listening to Delhi-6.
Must go to office in a while. Let us see how best I will make use of this Sunny day!
Hey kaala kaala kaala bandar!
dReAmEr
Must go to office in a while. Let us see how best I will make use of this Sunny day!
Hey kaala kaala kaala bandar!
dReAmEr
First Post of 2010
Well .. Well .. The wait is over for all my readers! ( if any ;) )
Here is my first post of 2010.
Dec 31 night was good. Went to my girl's place. Jan 2 I went for my Brother's convocation. From there I went to Bhadrachalam. There is a place called 'Parnasaala' near Bhadrachalam. Swam in Godavari for an hour. Amazin experience that was.
Started reading Ring for Jeeves and Beginning Programming for dummies.
This year is going to be very crucial for me at Work and Personal life. Hope I will fare well :)
Love,
tHe DrEaMeR
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